Reflections on a graduation party

Yesterday I attended the first of several graduation parties for my high school senior. This party was for all graduating high school students in our neighborhood – a joint effort that has turned into a wonderful neighborhood tradition. With 21 grads representing three different high schools, each with a different graduation ceremony date, trying to find a date for the party that worked for all 21 families was no easy feat. But we found one, even if that meant celebrating graduation a good three weeks before the official ceremony at my daughter’s high school.

I kind of anticipated that this occasion would move me in some way. First kid, first graduation, first one to leave the nest. Our family dynamic will never be the same once she leaves for school in late August. After the party ended and clean-up was complete, I let myself reflect a bit. Here’s what made the biggest impression on me.

What amazing kids.

I know, we all feel that way about our kids. No matter how big a rollercoaster you ride in the 18 years leading up to the big day, it’s hard not to look at your child in wonder and think, ‘when did this baby grow up and become a real person?’ As I listened to snatches of conversation between the grads and their parents and neighbors I kept thinking how mature they all seemed. Kids who were once too shy to look an adult in the eye, now they were carrying on conversations about their future plans that were articulate, confident and impressive. Because this was a neighborhood gathering many at the party have known most of these kids since they were babies. All have some memories of these kids in diapers, in their pj’s at sleepover parties, learning to swim or play soccer or T-ball. It was impossible not to marvel at how much they’d changed in what seemed like such a short amount of time.

Taking credit.

Soon after the party kicked off I was mingling with neighbors who repeatedly wished my husband and I “congratulations.” Initially it felt strange – why congratulate us? We weren’t the ones graduating high school. I even teased a friend who offered her congrats, and she looked at me like I was crazy. “Why wouldn’t you take the credit? Do you think your daughter could have done this without you?” I’ve been mulling this over, and I guess I agree. In most cases parents do play the most significant role of all in getting their children to this point, so I suppose it’s fine for me to accept the praise.

One of my friends, the mother of one of the other graduates, put it beautifully in an email she sent us all after the party. Her daughter is the youngest of six, and after surviving six high school careers – sending every one to college where they’ve all enjoyed great success – she’s probably entitled to sharing her thoughts. She thanked everyone for all the years of support, friendship and encouraged us to stay close despite our kids moving on. Her parting words:

“It’s not the high school which has the biggest impact on our teenagers. It’s the family first, and the community second.”

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